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Stephenson:Neal:Quicksilver:385:Bartholomew Fair (Alan Sinder)

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Geeks used to be the kind of village idiot that one caged for display so others could taunt and torment the wretches... But clearly Bob and Jack came here to work their wiles upon the condemned. It no doubt put polish on their performances.

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Bartholomew Fair

(From the 1911 Encyclopedia) BARTHOLOMEW FAIR, a fair held in West Smithfield, London, on ‘St Bartholomew’s Day (24th of August, O.S.) from 1133 to 1855. The charter authorizing its holding was granted by Henry I. to his former minstrel, Rahere, who had taken orders and had founded the priory of St Bartholomew close by. For many centuries the fair lasted a fortnight, but in 1691 it was shortened to four days only. In 1641 it had become so large that it involved no less than four parishes: Christ Church, Great and Little St Bartholomew’s and St Sepulchre’s. It was customary for the lord mayor of London to open the fair formally on St Bartholomew’s Eve, and on his way to stop at Newgate where he received from the governor a cup of sack. In 1753, owing to the change in the calendar, the fair was proclaimed on the 3rd of September. During its earlier history the fair grew to be a vast national market and the chief cloth sale in the kingdom. Down to 1854 it was usual for the representative of the Merchant Taylors’ Gild to proceed to the cloth fair which formed part of Bartholomew fair, and test the measures used for selling cloth there by the company’s silver yard. The fair was finally closed in 1855.” << For a full account see Prof. H. Morley, Memoirs of Bartholomew Fair (1859). >>Barts_fairMW.jpg
The Fair c. 1808

Quarlous' Monologue from Ben Jonson's Bartholomew Fair (1614):

QUARLOUS: “Hoy-day! how respective you are become o' the sudden! I fear this family will turn you reformed, too! I' faith, would thou wouldst leave thy exercise of widow-hunting once--this drawing after an old, reverend smock by the splay-foot! There cannot be an ancient tripe or trillibub i' the town, but thou art straight nosing it, and 'tis a fine occupation thou'lt confine thyself to when thou hast got one: scrubbing a piece of buff, as if thou hadst the perpetuity of Pannier Alley to stink in; or perhaps worse, currying a carcass that thou hast bound thyself to alive. I'll be sworn, some of them that thou art, or hast been, a suitor to, are so old as no chaste or married pleasure can ever become 'em. Thou must visit 'em as thou wouldst do a tomb, with a torch or three handfuls of link, flaming hot; and so thou mayst hap to make 'em feel thee, and after, come to inherit according to thy inches. A sweet course for a man to waste the brand of life for, to be still raking himself a fortune in an old woman's embers! We shall ha' thee, after thou hast been but a month married to one of 'em, look like the quartan ague and the black jaundice met in a face, and walk as if thou hadst borrowed legs of a spinner and voice of a cricket. I would endure to hear fifteen sermons a week for her, and such coarse and loud ones as some of 'em must be! I would e'en desire of fate, I might dwell in a drum, and take in my sustenance with an old, broken tobacco-pipe and a straw. Dost thou ever think to bring thine ears or stomach to the patience of a dry grace, as long as thy table-cloth; and droned out by the son here, that might be thy father, till all the meat o' thy board has forgot it was that day i' the kitchen? Or to brook the noise made in a question of predestination by the good labourers and painful eaters assembled together, put to 'em by the matron your spouse, who moderates with a cup of wine ever and anon, and a sentence out of Knox between? Or the perpetual spitting before and after a sober-drawn exhortation of six hours, whose better part was the hum-ha-hum? Or to hear prayers groaned out over thy iron chests, as if they were charms to break 'em? And all this for the hope of two apostle-spoons to suffer, and a cup to eat a caudle in! For that will be thy legacy. She'll ha' conveyed her state safe enough from thee, an she be a right widow.”

Aside: It seems Enoch Root is pondering The Alchemist, a play in five acts by Ben Jonson as he makes his way to Clarke the Apothecary. Of his plays, this is most commonly considered the best, though some prefer Volpone the Fox or Bartholomew Fair. The play is set in contemporary 17th century London, and concerns the adventures of three low characters who have set up a fraudulent alchemical workshop in order to swindle gullible townspeople.

More on Bartholomew Fair

The fair at Smithfield dates back to the 12th century. Held to celebrate the Feast of St. Bartholomew, it originally took place on 24th and 25th August but during Charles II's reign it was extended to a fortnight. By the 18th century St Bartholomew Fair was one of the most spectacular national and international events of the year. It featured sideshows, prize-fighters, musicians, wire-walkers, acrobats, puppets, freaks and wild animals.

Smithfield like Tyburn and Newgate was also used for executions. Nearly 300 Protestants were burnt at the state here during Mary Tudor's reign.

In the 19th century Smithfield established itself as the largest meat market in England. Smithfield was also an important horse and cattle market until 1855 when livestock was sent to the Caledonian Market in Islington. In 1868 a market hall with an iron and glass roof was built at Smithfield.

BARTHOLOMEW FAIR (from Joshua White's "Letters on England," written in 1810)

Passing near West Smithfield, I observed a real bustle, and a vast number of booths erecting in all the streets leading towards it and St. Bartholomew’s square; and on enquiring the occasion, I was told the celebrated civic carnival of St. Bartholomew Fair was about to commence. This festival is of ancient origin; for it was prohibited in the year 1603 and in 1605, in consequence of the plague raging in London.

On this occasion, before the fair commences, the Lord Mayor, accompanied by sheriffs and constables, proceeds in his state coach to Old Bailey, and stopping at the door of Newgate, to partake, according to custom, of a cool tankard, which is presented by the keeper, he passes along Giltspur street to announce the fair. No sooner is the procession seen, than all the instruments sound such a salute, as would be almost sufficient to drown the noise of an hundred cannon. After the fair is proclaimed, at the great gate leading to the cloth fair, the procession returns in the same order it commenced.

The spectacle which is presented on such an occasion, defies description, and only such a pencil as that wielded by Hogarth, could delineate the motley crew who assemble here. Portable theatres are raised with the usual pageantry, and the most conspicuous characters, such as emperors, harlequins, columbines, and even the arch fiend himself, appear in all the trappings of their appropriate characters. While these humble mimics of the drama are exhibiting their performances in one place, mountebanks of various grades, fire-eaters, necromancers, and rope-dancers, attract the gaze of the multitude by the sublimest efforts of their skill, and while looking thus with the stupid stare, more cunning knaves are artfully and industriously removing watches, pocket-books, &c. from the pockets of the heedless throng.

Delicacies of every kind are provided to please every palate; and to suit the fashion of the times, dainties were to be had with appropriate names, such as Lord Wellington’s allo campaign, Burdett’s Scotch kisses, Percival’s game nuts, and a variety of others. The following were exhibited as:

“The most astonishing varieties in all the kingdom!

A guinea, half guinea and seven shilling piece of full weight and standard gold,

To be seen here!!

Admittance for grown persons a three shilling

bank token, and for children an eighteen

penny bank token.”

A circumstance occurred about the commencement of the show, well calculated to arouse the fears of the most courageous and frighten the timid into convulsions. One of Pidcock’s waggons containing a tiger was overset in going to the fair, and the door accidentally burst open. The ferocious animal made his escape, but did not proceed far ere he stopped, when his keeper had the address to get him into his cage.

What Was On Display

Ian McCormick has a list of the Grotesque that would be displayed at the fair. Mary and Eliza Chulkhurst (1100-1134) (also known as the Biddenden Maids) are the earliest known set of conjoined twins. They were joined at the hip, although illustrations also depict them joined at the shoulder. Mary and Eliza were born in 1100 in Biddenden, Kent, England and died in 1134. They left their entire estate to the church. Biddenden Maids are what we referred to as Siamese Twins. They even made cookies in the shape of the girls. When one died - the survivor refused to be parted. Paraphrasing - “… In together, out together.” goose.jpg
A Betting Man Would Wager This
Apparation To Be Clever Puppetry

Many exhibits would be of the sideshow variety -- extra secondary production associated with a circus. Old time sideshows were a mix of freaks, exotic animals, demonstrations of unusual physical talents. A freak show is an exhibition of rarities, "freaks of nature"--such as unusually tall or short humans, and people with both male and female secondary sexual characteristics--and performances that are expected to be shocking to the viewers. Heavily tattooed people have sometimes been seen in freak shows, as have fire-eating and sword-swallowing acts. Freak shows have often been associated with circuses and amusement parks. One of the last remaining freak shows in the United States is in Coney Island. Zip was a famous freak who'd perform in a cage where he could rattle the bars and screech. This act was tremendously successful for Barnum, and Zip was as big a draw to his American Museum as the famous Siamese twins, Chang and Eng Bunker. At one time, a sideshow was the only way many disabled persons could earn a living.

Tarts at the Fair

Prostitution flourished in Christiandom and brothels were often operated by municipalities. The outbreak of sexually transmitted diseases in the 16th century and the Reformation led to stricter controls. In some periods prostitutes had to distinguish themselves by particular signs, sometimes wearing very short hair or no hair at all. Ancient codes regulated in this case the crime of a prostitute that dissimulated her profession. In the 18th century, starting presumably in Venice, prostitutes started using condoms, made with lining from intestines (ala sausages). Like Stourbridge, St Bart's likely had Speciality Prostitutes of the kind that perform near carnivals and county fairs promising fellatio and likely stealing wallets. Wags and drones would look for tents advertising “soiled doves.” It would be an affair of pennies for sex with a tart or drab.